Welcome, children of the night! This Blog is for fans of vintage horror films as well as those who are just beginning to discover the joy of these classic movies. I'd love to hear from you!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Hard Rock Zombies (1985)

There is a fine line between camp and crap.  Rocky Horror Picture Show is on one side of the line with its perfect balance of great music, comedy and horror elements.  Hard Rock Zombies is on the other side of the line with its bad 80's AOR tunes, a few chuckles and pitiful use of horror.
Where do I start?  The music!  There is nothing hard rock about it.  It's the worst of what the 80's had to offer.  Furthermore, the instruments you hear on the soundtrack and those we see the band playing are often mismatched.  It's a sad state of affairs, indeed.
Then there's the zombies which have some of the most amateurish make up I've seen.  We do MUCH better at the Asheville Zombie Walk.  Not to mention they all move in different ways from the dancing "zombie ho" who kicks and twirls her way through the streets of the city to the Romero style shamblers who sport the typical zombie walk.  In between is the band that moves in a military march at one moment and then like rock star posers in the next.  It's annoying and amateurish.
Finally, the so-called comedy elements rarely work.  I found myself giggling a time of two but the film was never laugh out loud funny.  Sure there are midgets, a granny werewolf, Nazis and Adolph Hitler [I kid you not!] but these elements are never used for their full comic potential.
So, Hard Rock Zombies is a red hot mess in my book.  There are some who find it amusing but I am definitely not one of them.  Furthermore, the quality of the DVD is horrible.  Grainy picture and bad sound put the final nail in the coffin for me.  RIP, Hard Rock Zombies!
For more info check out the film's entry in IMDB.

1 comment:

  1. Hahahaha I am shocked that other people have seen this. I loved Hard Rock Zombies. So much camp and the movie was just insane. Nothing at all scary about it, it was more surreal and twisted. Will have to try and track down a copy and give it another watch.